naurwenseaflame: (Pagan - Moon - singing Moon - autumn)
[personal profile] naurwenseaflame
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I don't think I would change decisions made as they lead me to where I am now and I'm ok with that.
But I would have made things easier for my mum and me somehow... the running away to Switzerland (from back then communistic Czechoslovakia); the being treated as stupid foreigners, her not being allowed to get a good job despite her good education simply because she is a foreigner (luckily this rule has changed by now, but back then she didn't stand a chance. The state decided what she was allowed to work as and what not.); the teachers who treated me just like that, too; the relatives who didn't help in that situation either; ...
Mainly all that.
Sure, it made *me*, or both of us stronger and the persons we are now, but those aren't happy memories and things that still influence me now and then. Those are memories that often overshadow the happy memories of my childhood and teenage years. And I wouldn't wish any of that to anyone.

Date: 2010-08-30 08:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hope things are easier for her now!

Date: 2010-08-30 08:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
in some ways they are, in some ways they aren't.
as a result of all this she became a nurse in a home for old people. she used to love the job until they shortened staff so much that it only became a stressful and accident-prone routine.
now it's just tiring and exhausting and frustrating to her.

Date: 2010-08-30 12:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Running away to another country is always such a hard test, but if the situation is complicated....But I'm glad everything is OK.

Date: 2010-08-30 12:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
thank you, yes it is very much so. it doesn't help when there's a lot of hate involved in the new country, but yeah, we went through it and live to tell the tale. :)

Date: 2010-08-30 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
When you survive in such situations it means that you're a strong person, ehh!

Date: 2010-08-30 06:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
it's also a constant reminder of what you've achieved... so if you feel down you can think *damnit, I've made it through this, so what's the matter?*

Date: 2010-08-30 06:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I wish I will be able to say that after some years of my life!;)))))

Date: 2010-08-30 09:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
If you follow your heart you will be :)

Date: 2010-08-30 04:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I hadn't known until just recently about how hard your mum had it when you came to Switzerland, and just how badly she was treated when it came to getting a good job. :-( I'm so sorry this was how she, and you, were both treated in your new country - that is just plain wrong and hateful. I am glad they've changed that rule, but the scars must still be there and that is difficult when the memories come up :-(. One day I wish for you that you move to a place where the opposite happens: where you will feel welcome, and treated with the kindness and respect that you so very much deserve! ***hugs!***

Date: 2010-08-30 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
thank you so much *hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
that would be a wonderful thing. :D

Date: 2010-08-30 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It must have been so hard for you both leaving everything and everybody behind :(((((

ps hmm- like the title for this post, would make a good song title for, say, The Killers ;)

Date: 2010-08-30 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
it was like a brandnew start, but some things went lost during it all... and the connections to our family in the Czech Rep. suffered. We've never been *really* close again.

ah, hmh, dunno much by them :p

Date: 2010-08-30 07:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I would change one main thing and that was to learn and become a good parent by understanding their emotions more. All that I went through myself did create me. But next time I definitely want my life to be much better.

I never knew that Switzerland people would have been like that. You would never know until you live there. My heart aches for both of you, for all the pain. My heart is with you now and wish you both the best, huge hugs to you and mum.

Date: 2010-08-30 07:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
aw *hugs* :o

Thank you so much *hugs again*
Alone to know that some people understand means a lot to me.
I've encountered way enough who went like *ah well, can't have been that bad*. yeah, right.

Date: 2010-08-30 07:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
So sad to hear you both had to live through all of that... it must have been so hard. This kind of story always makes me so mad, as many people in my family were in the same situation. HUGS!

Date: 2010-08-30 07:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you and huge, huge hugs dear sister!!!

Date: 2010-08-30 07:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I don't know - COULD you have done anything different? COULD you have made it easier? If I know you, you did everything you could to help and then some.

You and your Mum are very blessed in each other, your relationship is so strong and beautiful and supportive of each other. I am so sad all that happened to you both, but I am glad you at least - had each other.

*so many hugs*

Date: 2010-08-30 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
no, I couldn't have and neither could have mum.
It's more a *if anything more would have been possible*
there are no regrets really about what WE did.
It's more a *what if* thought.
like... what if I could have hit some people over the head (not seriously, you know what I mean) or shake them a bit.



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